Nutritional Information & Cooking Instructions To Be Branded On Animals.

A delicious treat.

Another bold move from the Australian Government today as the Department of Agriculture has announced a new initiative to assist in the labeling of our food. All Australian livestock will now have their nutritional information and cooking instructions branded directly on to their hides.

Food Standards Australia New Zealand support the move saying that it should save time getting our meat from the paddock to the plate with animals already labelled, but not everyone’s happy about it.

Kev Stockman, from the Australian Farmers Union says that it is unrealistic to expect that every item of livestock be branded and that farmers already have enough on their plate having to continually clear their land of television production crews constantly filming shows like ‘Farmer Wants A Wife’ and ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’. He jokingly went on to say that ‘being out on the farm is extremely lonely and if someone could pop out and visit him before he puts a shotgun under his chin.’

We’re Right Australia, the peak Australian body for vegans & vegetarians, have also voiced their condemnation of the new initiative. Current president, Crystal Rainbow says that ‘we need to be decreasing our meat intake as it’s not sustainable long-term, not making it easier and more efficient for us to kill and eat more animals in larger quantities. Our earth mother will rise up and smite us from the earth soon.’ The disgusting bong-beast also added that ‘maybe the politicians in Canberra would be better placed looking into the legalisation of marijuana, instead of killing animals.’

The Prime Minister even weighed in on the debate late last night stating ‘off the record’ to a Newscorp journalist that ‘God would not have put these animals on our planet if he didn’t mean for us to destroy and eat them’. He has reportedly also suggested providing additional funding for ‘hippie proof fences’ and additional weapons around farms to protect farmers against inevitable protests from animals rights activists.

Whatever your opinion of this new initiative, it’s probably fucking wrong, so it’s generally best to leave this sort of thing up to the people who know what they’re doing, our government.

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