“We’ve had to stop production until we can get to the bottom of this. There’s people injured and lawsuits being threatened. The situation is untenable.” Channel Ten’s CEO, Sameish McLennan stated outside the network’s effluent Chapel Street offices this morning during a short statement to waiting press. “We are in complete shock here. This has never happened in the history of this show, or the station!”
It’s early days with reports still coming, but it appears Channel Ten have halted production of the season finale of Masterchef Australia after an all-in brawl occurred between the presenters and some members of the production crew.
Cam Rarman, a member of Shine Australia, the production company that produces the risible reality show spoke to media outlets saying that the incident took place during filming when an altercation started between hosts Matt Preston, the cravat wearing Toad from Wind In the Willows, and gourmand gorger, Gary Mehigan. The two apparently began arguing over the last forkful of contestant, Jamie Ward’s latest offering and things took a turn for the worse.
“They were desperately trying to get the last piece of food on the plate and kind of sword fighting with their forks and everyone thought they were mucking around. But then Preston grabbed Gary by the throat and said something like, ‘you wanna be the hero of my dish mate?’ to which Gary responded by butting heads with him. It was only a light tap, but Preston went down… and when he finally got back up, it really kicked off.”
In the ensuing melee, tiny host George Colonbareass attempted several times to intervene but was swatted away by Preston who towers above the small Greek at over three metres tall with an apparent weight of several tonnes.
Members of the crew also attempted to stop the two walruses but it appeared to only make matters worse, as according to one crew member, “Gary started swinging a large knife and thrusting towards anyone that approached.” Mehigan, whose name is deliberately hard to spell, was so enraged that he had torn off this clothes and was apparently using the knife to: ‘cut marks across his chest like that Native American bloke at the end of Predator’.
The situation only died down when security from the Showgrounds, where the show is filmed, entered and restrained both Mehigan and Preston, who were apparently covered in blood and food, which they continued to try eat whilst restrained.
Four members of the show, including the two hosts, were taken to hospital suffering minor injuries including cuts and abrasions with Matt Preston having to get his stomach pumped for the second time this series.
To buy them time, the network have hastily to cut together an hour long ‘highlights package’ consisting of all three hosts eating contestants food throughout the current series. They’re currently trying to negotiate with the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) who will not allow it to be aired prior to 8:30pm due to its grotesque nature.
An announcement regarding the resumption of filming is expected in the next few days.