In today’s fast-paced society, finding the time to get everything done is virtually impossible. Luckily there’s some forward-thinking people out there that have now combined two things that people find most annoying: eating and travelling. Exalted Melbourne restaurant, Vue de Monde have teamed up with notorious lunch-cutters, UBER, to create what they say has never been done before: formal in-car dining!
UBER already took the hassle out of having to drive yourself places, and now with the ability to gorge on Vue de Monde’s high-end chow, you can skip the restaurant on your way to the club, or smash out some duck tongue while you’re on the way to ‘talk art’ at another fucking exhibition opening.
“Imagine being able to sit in the back of a fancy car and masticate?”, says UBER spokesman, Liam O’Seen. “We’ve been working really closely with the guys at Vue de Monde, who are complete cunts, by the way; nonetheless we’re all extremely excited to unveil this brand new initiative! No one has done anything even close to this before. We’ve heard of some fast food chains looking at something called a ‘Drive Thru’, but that’s probably years away.”
All you have to do is select what you want to eat from the pop-up menu when ordering a car as per normal through the UBER app; it’s simply added to your bill at the end. There’s no need to clean up, the drivers will take care of everything! UBER drivers are apparently over the moon at the new initiative and welcome it with open arms. “Are you fucking serious??”, one driver ecstatically responded when asked about the new initiative. UBER evidently yet to relay the good news out to their driver network.
Vue de Monde advise that for anyone wanting to try their gaudy ‘gastronomes menu’, to ensure that the travel distance is sufficient to allow enough time between courses to gloat to the driver / fellow passengers about the last time you ate whatever the fuck you’ve just shoved in your fancy, rich face.
It’s not going to be cheap though! Initial estimates put the cost of a main course with wine pairing and a short UBER drive from the CBD to South Yarra at around $300 AUD. While that might be out of reach for some people, when asked about it’s lack of broad appeal, Vue de Monde’s bong-loving head chef, Shannon Bennett, summed it up perfectly, “No one actually cares what poor people think anyway.”