BREAKING: Adam Goodes Refused Service At McDonalds

How Goodes Are They're Burgers Tho?

Reports are coming in that an altercation took place earlier today between staff at a Sydney McDonald’s and champion footballer and Australian of the Year, Adam Goodes.

Customers have said that Goodes was refused service after first attempting to use the drive-thru, then again as he presented himself at the counter inside the dark den of despair ‘family restaurant’.

Goodes, who is currently on indefinite leave from the AFL after White Australia decided he was no longer Indigenous, has been laying low due to intense media scrutiny.

One customer, Cedid Bunns, said that Goodes was calm and collected, but became frustrated when the staff started booing him when he elected to have no pickles on his cheeseburgers.

“Adam was an absolute gentleman, but was understandably irked. The staff were being complete fuckwits to the guy. He was in the middle of a ‘Mac Attack’ and just wanted to smash some cheesey meat bread and hot ‘taters. They were jeering him and pretending to throw straws as spears, but as soon as he said ‘no pickles’ all the members of staff starting booing him really loudly… some customers even joined in! Adam looked completely dejected and started yelling at them and pointing. It got really intense and people started throwing things around. We ended up having to run outside; the place was trashed!”

McDonald’s haven’t issued a statement about the incident but spokesman and disgraced clown, Ronald, was apparently being brought out of hyper-sleep for an afternoon press conference; a large media presence is expected as questions still remain unanswered around Hamburglars unusually early parole and recent flight to South America.

There were no reported injuries in the melee and Goodes was seen driving off in anger without purchasing anything. Boredsheet tried unsuccessfully to obtain a formal statement via phone from the restaurant manager, but did receive a response from an unnamed staff member:

 “Yeah we had a whinger in here earlier, but we do that to customers every weekend. It’s tradition.”

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