Just when you though Virgin couldn’t push any more boundaries, the world’s first commercial spaceline has today announced the launch of the world’s first zero gravity restaurant! The suborbital eatery will operate onboard Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo from 2017 and promises to put the wonder back into space eating.
Appearing via video link from low earth orbit, and fully clothed for a change, billionaire
sleezebag owner Richard Branson proudly spoke of his vision for the future and shared a few teasers about what to expect with the new restaurant:
“We’re proud as punch to be announcing our new ‘Zero G Cantina’ onboard Virgin Galactic! After some very messy trials, we’ve nailed down the perfect technique to eat without the fuss. We’ll also be having some very special chefs onboard to delight your senses.”
“Being able to use chopsticks to throw a sushi roll into your mouth while travelling at tens of thousands of kilometres an hour sounds impossible, but it’s not…. it’s so much fun!”
Branson, who now lives in space and drinks heavily, was still toying with the idea of including alcohol and women as part of packages and said that they were still trying to work through safety and hygiene concerns after what can only be described as a mishap during testing….
“We floated the idea a while back but needed some space after what happened last year … and of course there have been a few funny hiccups along the way to getting it all set up. During testing, one of the team managed to get some pretty severe diarrhoea. If you’ve ever seen liquid in space… well all I will say is that it can take days to get it out of your teeth and all that instrumentation. There were some other minor bumps in the road too, let’s just say we won’t be bringing a deep fryer into space again! Hahaha!”
When asked how many of his staff have been injured in the process of putting the idea together, the video link unfortunately dropped out, but press were handed a booklet with information and images on the new Zero G Cantina.
With places aboard the initial flights already sold to rich assholes, we’re not sure how long it will be before more opportunities arise to jettison into the exosphere, but one thing is for sure, the experience is set to be out of this world.