EXCLUSIVE: Angry Anderson To Open New ‘Aussies Only’ Restaurant

Angry
More like ‘Hangry’ Anderson amirite?

Former Rose Tattoo singer and new Australian Liberty Alliance Senate representative, Gary ‘Angry’ Anderson has announced today he’s ‘reclaiming Australian food’ and will be opening a restaurant that will serve ‘fair dinkum food to fair dinkum Aussie’s’.

Anderson announced on Monday that he was running as the new Senate rep for the anti-Islamic, Liberty Alliance party, but threw ANOTHER surprise press conference earlier today to announce his brand new eatery, Pounds Of Glory.

“We need to keep Australian food, Aussie.”, the tiny xenophobe screeched, “There’s going to be wombat stew, kangaroos steaks and emu burgers, and my classic ‘Angry Fries’ if you can handle the heat! You won’t find any kebabs or pizza at this joint; we don’t want you scarred for life. We’ve even got ‘f*ck off, we’re full’ signs you can hold up for when the waiter comes around at the end of your meal!”

Anderson, a miniature skinhead who follows the Bahá’í religion, which has Arabic roots, and whose own mother was an immigrant, fails to see the hypocrisy.

When prompted that an exclusive admission policy, combined with his previous controversial statements, might upset members of the community, he replied:

“We have strict quarantine laws and it should be the same when it comes to cultures that do not want to integrate. I actually know a foreign person, I chat to him almost every day at my local servo. I stop in to buy special charcoal tablets for a medical condition I have, and he always greets me with a smile. I can’t read his name badge, but it doesn’t matter. He’s my mate. I’m definitely not racist.”

Anderson was vague when asked what exactly constitutes a ‘fair dinkum aussie’ and if the emphasis should be on the ‘fair’. He replied that ‘anyone that speaks plain Australian English is welcome at our joint’.

Pounds of Glory opens in North Sydney next month. The website is now live for people to check out it’s unique menu and make reservations: www.poundsofglory.com.au 

 

 

 

 

 

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