Dozens Injured In Sushi Train Derailment


Emergency services are scrambling to attend to a horrific scene in Sydney’s CBD where an out-of-control sushi train left the tracks at a Japanese restaurant earlier today.

The incident occurred in Paddington at popular hotspot, Gnawy Roll.

Witnesses say that the train was spotted travelling ‘way too fast’ and that they had made several comments to staff but no action was taken. People were seen fleeing the scene and the footpath is currently cordoned off as authorities assess the damage and injuries.

“We told two of the waitresses that it was over-loaded and was travelling like a bullet-train, but they told us that’s how fast trains go in Japan”, screamed eyewitness, Sue Sheemi. “My friend and I were covered in soy sauce and blood, I barely had time to finish my udon!”

Terrorism (commonly referred to as Terroryaki in Japanese culture) has been ruled out and a police spokesperson said they were still finalising the casualty count, which is expected to climb, but they needed to finish their lunch first.

“I can’t believe everyone just up and left! Most of this stuff is untouched”, reported one plucky constable.




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