Leaked Memo Suggests Poker Machines In Primary Schools.

With the Tasmanian election heating up and pokies at the centre of the debate, the largest backer on the pro-pokies side is taking fire after a leaked memo was sent to press agencies via an anonymous email.

The memo, which appears to have the watermark and header of Federal Group, an organisation known for their controlling stake in human misery, details several strategies to increase revenue across Tasmania. One suggestion includes an idea to place poker machines in several primary schools to ‘train a younger generation to become more intuitive to betting machine operations’ and goes on to say, ‘everyone agrees that poker machines are a wonderful benefit to local communities, so we’re going to extend that benefit into primary schools’.

Greg Farrell, CEO of Federal Group (who hold a monopoly gaming licence in Tasmania), fronted media earlier today to play down the suggestion but seemed to only make matters worse.

Farrell, who coined the popular phrase, ‘poker, she’ll love it’ back in the eighties, seemed to find the lighter side of the memo:

“Everyone needs to chillax. These aren’t normal poker machines, they’re special training machines that only have very small bet allowances. We want people to be more comfortable with these machines, they’re a part of life and they’re not going anywhere. We can see some real value bringing the younger generation in earlier – they’ll love the lights and sounds; it’s like a video game!”

Tasmanian Treasurer, Peter Gutwein, has said previously that over 5 million jobs would be lost in Tasmania if Labor wins the election and takes all their money away delivers on their promise to remove 2,375 poker machines from 97 Tasmanian pubs and clubs. Mr Gutwein has ignited debate around the state as to whether he’s across the basic fundamentals of double-entry bookkeeping and mathematics in general.

The pro-pokies campaign didn’t get off to a great start when a designer switched a print file before a run of large banners were sent to print; the banners were subsequently printed, rigged and used in a press shoot. Images, like the one below, were accidentally reproduced thousands of times before the error was noticed by Federal Group, who then spent an unspecified sum having them removed from pubs and clubs around the state.

Pokies supporter, Michael ‘Second’ Best (left) and THA Chief, Steve Old just prior to a robust discussion regarding the placement of Steve’s right hand.

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